Before you say too much,
Before you admit to anything you will regret,
There are certain things you need to know about me.
On my worst days
I am selfish, boorish, and temperamental.
I drink and curse,
Start fights at the bar.
I push myself to overwhelming sadness,
Until I am emotionally shipwrecked –
Broken masts, sails, oars strewn haphazardly.
I will put my heart in your teeth
And dare you to bite down.
I will need from you
Like an addict, searching
Wild-eyed for the next rush.
My tenaciousness will wear you down.
The very things that first attracted you to me
Will drive you away.
My water-torture love will drip down on you
Until it stings your skin.
I tell you this,
Not out of any sense of debt,
But because I cannot stand to think
That one day I will be the reason you wake
To the feeling of ropes unraveling in your chest,
Of your head being held under water,
Of your legs going from concrete to rubber.
I tell you this
Because I understand that fate
Plays sick jokes on us,
Because certain things can begin beautifully and gracefully
And then transform into the grotesque,
Because sometimes, when you’re far off,
What you believe to be a sand dollar on the beach
Is really just a piece of litter the ocean brought in.
Before you admit to anything you will regret,
There are certain things you need to know about me.
On my worst days
I am selfish, boorish, and temperamental.
I drink and curse,
Start fights at the bar.
I push myself to overwhelming sadness,
Until I am emotionally shipwrecked –
Broken masts, sails, oars strewn haphazardly.
I will put my heart in your teeth
And dare you to bite down.
I will need from you
Like an addict, searching
Wild-eyed for the next rush.
My tenaciousness will wear you down.
The very things that first attracted you to me
Will drive you away.
My water-torture love will drip down on you
Until it stings your skin.
I tell you this,
Not out of any sense of debt,
But because I cannot stand to think
That one day I will be the reason you wake
To the feeling of ropes unraveling in your chest,
Of your head being held under water,
Of your legs going from concrete to rubber.
I tell you this
Because I understand that fate
Plays sick jokes on us,
Because certain things can begin beautifully and gracefully
And then transform into the grotesque,
Because sometimes, when you’re far off,
What you believe to be a sand dollar on the beach
Is really just a piece of litter the ocean brought in.